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Name: betaFlyer
Website: last.fm
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Back April 2008
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fiain like six-four-three
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bacon
I kind of forgot what real bacon looked/tasted like after eight months of res caf bacon.

Current Music: photobooth - death cab for cutie

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Two more weeks?
Wow, today was my last evaluation before my exams. I am going to take a break for the next couple of days and then I guess study. I only have two exams--Stats and Econ--and they're on the 12th and the 18th so I have time. They do cover a lot of material though and I'm slightly.

I just... can't believe first year is almost done. For some reason I think second term went by a whole lot faster than first term. Maybe it was because we had reading week and Easter somewhere in it. January, February, March, wow. I'm not used to feeling like this in April. It's kind of sad. I went through some hellish days and nights this term, more so than last.

Anyway, I was on top of the world after finishing the Geo quiz/test. It was sunny, warm and so lovely. It felt like spring. I got an ice capp from Tim Ho's. I just finished watching HIMYM. Awesome, awesome.

I still have Econ tonight and it'll be pretty intense I think since the prof will be doing the forecast. It has been a pretty exciting semester in terms of outside world, I suppose. I'm kind of glad I took econ during the sub-prime loan crisis. Haha, well, maybe it's because personally, I don't feel affected. Maybe I've been brainwashed by the prof, but I think this is a historical event and will be in textbooks or something.
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done.
One week later, I am done my assignment, the one that the class got an extension. So, I guess I am glad I got an extension because I probably couldn't go through as many drafts as I did this one. I'm not sure how I'll do. I'm kind of afraid I missed a concept. However, I am actually proud of what I've done and I know I tried my best with the time I was given. Marks matter, but I remember I felt so ashamed handing in my assignment last time. I came out with a decent mark, but I was completely embarrassed with my work. Now I am finished eleven hours before it's due (ha ha!!!) and I am really pleased.

There is stuff going on right now that I'm stressed out about and it's all because of me. The good things? There's only 22% left in Geog. Easter is this week.

Four weeks and four days left of school. That's kind of unbelievable.

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Mary Jane - illScarlett

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I am too confused right now. My prof gave the whole class an extension on assignment originally due on Thursday. So, it's now due a week tomorrow. Actually, he basically gave us a week and a half extension from the deadline on the course outline. You'd think I'd be happy but I'm really confused and I shouldn't let this fumble me. The reason? He gave us the same four day extension last time and that did not turn out well at all. I slacked off and was stupid. I just--I can't let this go! I can't stop working or worrying! Heck, I've barely started so the extension should be a good thing. I think I am stressed out even more than before because he gave us an extension because he thinks the general class needs more clarification on the assignment. And suddenly I realized that maybe I still need more clarification--I talked to him about it before. Maybe I do, but I just can't let my worry get to me. I have to keep the momentum going.

Yeah, I had pretty good momentum, maybe I still do. Don't give up! I actually finished two assignments tonight due tomorrow, but what time is it? 10:50PM! Yee-uh, I've printed them out too. I also finished my weekly stats assignment due Wednesday this morning and printed it out. This was all in preparation of my death within the next less-than-72 hours.

Now I am worried that it will end up like the last time he gave us an extension. I cannot let that happen. I cannot. I have other things to do. Okay, no, actually, after this assignment would've been done Thursday, I would've entered a peaceful mode of work but not panic. Well, on second though, there are some priority things but not CRAZY CRAZY LACK OF SLEEP.

Keep up the momentum! Yes the "extension" helps, but don't let that worry that maybe you are less prepared. Oh gosh, why do I feel more unprepared now than I felt when there was no extension?

I had a really great weekend though! I went to my cousin's bridal shower which was a lot of fun.

I just want to be done. I know I said that last time and I didn't follow through. How do I follow through? How? Self-discipline. Follow through.

Wish me luck.

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Breakfast at Tiffany's - Deep Blue Someting

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My goodness, what a topsy turvy day. I stupidly checked my Geography essay mark online before class which was a test and it said I got a 0. I completely freaked out because I knew I submitted it on time and online so they could've accessed it if they lost the hard copy, and if they hadn't marked it, it should've been blanked. I started to cry a bit and my nose started to bleed. My nose has been kind of crazy lately. It started to bleed out of nowhere while I was writing my stats midterm last week and at first I thought it'd be OK but it didn't stop and it's quite hard to erase with one hand. They let me step outside and go to the washroom, and I went through the midterm fairly quickly so I finished fine. It was just very awkward!

Well, I went to see my prof and sorted out my mark thankfully. Also I went to a cafe in the building where my prof's office is and it's really nice as far as UW Food Services go. I had a really yummy grilled cheese sandwich with turkey and tomatoes.

I have a test on Thursday and three papers to write for next week. Wish me luck!

Current Music: Weird - Menomena

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Oh man, I just discovered there is a self-guided pod tour of DC like they have at museums and art galleries. I don't usually go to DC to study and I've never really wandered around so I considered for a few seconds of eventually doing this walking tour. However I don't have an MP3 player anyway so unfortunately I can't take advantage of this tool.

Also, why am I so easily distracted? Even the library website can get me off track. I need to be focused. Don't give up.

Current Music: Davis Library pod tour

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HOLIDAYS
Holla, I am finally done! I finished my last exam on Wednesday but since then I've been madly working on my design project. I just sent it off to my prof and the real holidays begin! Last week I wrote a really angry entry about Sketchup, the program we use for 3D models, but I made it private because it's kind of really really angry. I still hate Sketchup, but I think it's kind of funny how you get so adapted to things. For example, scrolling the scroll middle button zooms in and out, and clicking the button and moving the mouse you can change your observation position and rotate around. Then when I was just surfing the net (hmm... do people say that still?) I had the urge to rotate the screen, or when I was typing in Word I wanted to zoom in with the scrolling. Even when I was putting pictures in Word, I'd type "m" to move the picture around, because that's what you do in Sketchup.

Well, whatever! I don't think I'm going to do too well, but it's over now. Christmas time! I can catch up on all that TV I missed. Oh, I also have some movies I downloaded before but didn't let myself watch. DC++ is pretty much the devil. But so lovely. I also actually have to unpack now-- I was so busy working on my project that I just couldn't think about unpacking.

Also, starting to work at Staples again for the holidays. Hope that goes OK.

Take care, y'all! XOXO.

Current Music: Ella Fitzgerald!

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sketchbook
I had a really silly dream that my design professor did not like the mango trees I drew in this campus square we are redesigning. That was pretty bad enough, and then when I woke up I had a panic attack because I was like, "Why the hell do I have mango trees in the outdoor square? They will die in the winter!" but then I remembered that I do not have mango trees in my square. That's not the point of this entry though. I've told others about that dream, but there was also a part in my dream that involved my professor flipping through countless pages of trees in my sketchbook. In reality I have drawn a lot of trees and vegetation but nowhere near as much in my dream sketchbook. So he kept on flipping and flipping and going, "What the hell is this?" and I think that's made me kind of afraid of drawing more trees. My dream really shouldn't have affected me like this!

That is what's going on right now. I am also studying for a test. But it's a nice break to draw or try to draw at least. I'm just seriously afraid he's going to flip through my sketchbook and say that it's a waste of paper or something. You see on my first page of "trees" is actually a whole load of circles because I honestly had such difficulty drawing them, but to others it looks really silly like I'm just trying to use up space.

Such is life.
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exhaustion
It's been an intense week of essay writing and sort of studying for Economics, but more essay writing. And I'm finally done, thank God. I don't think I've ever written that much for evaluation before. It was nice stapling my paper together though. Now we shall wait and see how I did!

So anyway, it feels like my first Friday night that I can actually do something typical university. I guess from the way things turned out from working at Staples during September, Thanksgiving, Ohio/Michigan, Grad, and the family gatherings, I haven't really stayed in res on a Friday night, or if I have I was working on something. Tonight's a good night, but I'm just so tired I want to sleep at 8:00 and wake up whenever tomorrow. I was hoping to get a hair cut at a place Carol recommended, but I didn't end up making an appointment. There are things to do, of course, but this week is a regrouping time to prepare for final tests, a presentation and such.

I'm also kind of proud of myself too, because after "getting real" I blocked Facebook, Last.fm and Television Without Pity. I could very easily reverse the restriction, but I didn't. Part of the time I was too busy to think about that stuff which I guess is good too, but even when I wanted to, I didn't let myself. The funny thing is that I'm just way too tired to even get back into that right now, not that I really have to... I also have a slew of TV shows that I didn't watch this week. I'm not sure if I want to watch them now, or wait until Christmas holidays.

Mentally, physically exhausted...

ETA: I just went to unlock Last.fm and guess what?? IT WAS NEVER BLOCKED! That is hilarious and also kind of nice that I have such good self restraint! YES.

Current Music: all i need - radiohead

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Five years.
Alright, so it hasn't been five years exactly since I first posted in Livejournal, and though I have things to do and read, I'm afraid that I'll forget to post on Thursdsay. And if I don't, well, that's fine too.

I inadvertently discovered my upcoming anniversary. I barely ever read my Livejournal archives only because I think it's really embarrassing-- it is. For starters, bealicious? Oh, man! I don't even know what my 13-year-old self was thinking. I stumbled into somebody's blog from what seems like two years ago and I was smirking because I am a snob like that, and then I realized that this journal is very smirkable as well. So I ventured into my archives and discovered that on October 25th, 2002, I wrote my first entry. I've been keeping a separate journal for six years this January, but that is where I write more private things. It's kind of interesting to read what I consider to be fair game public (though public depends on who reads this, I suppose) material. My entries are relatively sparse, and I kind of wish I posted more last year, but I guess I was busy. No matter.

Anyway, from what I've read, I'm not sure how much I've changed. I still procrastinate. I still like chocolate milk. I still write stupid things. Actually, because I love looking at age, I realized that my brother would've been my age now when I started writing here. He mocked me a bit, and it was annoying of course, ha, but I am laughing at my then self now so I suppose I understand.

So how to sum up five years? With a slightly embarrassing inside joke, and a free advertisement for Second Cup: "Hot chocolate. Frozen drinks. It's so damn good."

Current Location: res
Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Music: velouria - pixies